In my main article TO THE YOUNGSTERS I explain how a lot is said and discussed about parental love towards children but not the other way round. Using examples and stories I try to explain how youngsters ought to be considered too and how they can be taught to love their parents but through understanding them too.
The original article which you can read by clicking HERE tries to help the youngsters (Teens and Adolescents) learn how to show affection to their children.
This short story intends to speak for the youngsters to their parents and to invite both the parents and youngsters to read my original article.
Let’s start with a story;
MY STORY
Some adults sound as though they have never been teens. They make this stage of life sound almost like a cursed stage of life. But is it really?
One morning, just like any other day, I woke up to do my regular household chores. You see, in the villages, us youngsters have a lot to handle. Especially if, like me, you don’t have any sisters. Then you end up doing both “boy” and “girl” chores. So, that morning, I got up at 5 am and helped the shepherd milk our cows. We didn’t have many cows, so it didn’t take too long.
After that, I had to go fetch water from a spot about 1 kilometer away from home. When I got back, I swept the floors while my mom was busy washing the dishes. It’s funny how visitors in villages sometimes show up early in the morning, around 7 or 8 am. On this particular day, a neighbor, a lady in her late 50s, came over for reasons I can’t recall. My mom went to chat with her in the living room, while I headed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.
Once breakfast was ready, I served them and then retreated to my room. I absolutely loved reading books from the Edition Bakame collection, and I got lost in one of their captivating stories while enjoying my delicious morning meal. Breakfasts in the village are fantastic. Instead of plain boring bread, we had cassava or sweet potatoes, along with fresh undiluted milk or porridge mixed with milk, the greatest taste ever. Sometimes, I really miss those flavors.
Before I knew it, my mom was calling me, wondering why I hadn’t collected the plates and cups they had just used. So, I quickly did that task, and then she asked me when I was planning to do more cleaning and prepare lunch. You see, after lunch was ready, I had to go look after the cows while the shepherd came home to have his own lunch (we called it kumusigariraho) before taking the cows to the dams for drinking water (we called it gushora). Let me tell you, there was so much beauty and hard work involved in that routine, but I’ll save those stories for another time.
While I was busy collecting the dishes, this visitor who showed up at 7 am started talking about how rebellious kids are these days. She asked my mom, “Have you seen how children of this generation are so disobedient?” She went on to say that her own children take hours to fetch water, her daughters refuse to clean the cow dung, and the boys just go off to watch movies at night in the nearest center (Matimba) instead of helping at home. According to her, this age we’re in is the worst of its kind.
Then she turned to me and asked, “Why can’t you guys help your parents? Don’t you realize all the sacrifices they make for you?” Now, where I come from, as a young person, you’re not allowed to answer such questions. If you do, you’ll be called all sorts of names like stubborn, hardheaded, insolent, or useless. And if your dad is around, he might even give you a slap for daring to talk back to adults.
Anyway, that conversation sparked a discussion about how teenagers and adolescents are seen as disobedient, arrogant, lazy, and disrespectful, among other things. I remember feeling scared to even look at that lady, but in my mind, I thought, “She barely knows me. She’s sitting on the floor that I just swept (and I’m a boy). She’s enjoying the breakfast I cooked (and I’m a boy). How many boys in this neighborhood do these things? They should be grateful that I take on both male and female responsibilities. Maybe they should hire a helper or bring in a female cousin so that I can focus on the typical male duties.”
I still remember how they pretended to care, acting like they were interested in what I had to say. The visitor asked tough questions that hit me hard.
“What’s wrong with you young people? Why don’t you and my son, and the other boys in our neighborhood, show respect to your elders anymore? Why are you only interested in staying out late for movies and football? We try to warn you that these things aren’t good for you, but you still do them. Do you really think you’re smarter than us? Can you even take care of yourselves, let alone take care of us in the future?”
Before I could even utter a word in response, they continued their relentless stream of stories about other teenagers and their regrettable choices. One tale followed another. They spoke of James, the son of our neighbor George, who succumbed to temptation and stole matoke and was taken to police. Jennifer, the only daughter of Geoffrey, her unexpected pregnancy, that brought shame to her well behaved mother. There was also John, a bright student who had his dreams shattered when he was expelled from school, leaving his future hanging in uncertainty. (By the way, most of us read all these names with “JY”)
I got more and more frustrated as they talked about scarier things, moving away from simple stories to the bad things teenagers do. It made me even angrier when they compared me to those people who did terrible things, even though I hadn’t done anything that bad. The most daring thing I did was sneak out to watch movies at the nearby center, but only after finishing my duties. I was really mad and couldn’t wait to leave that room, wanting to get away from their mean comments
THE VOICE OF TEENS
You see, as teenagers, we find ourselves caught in a struggle. Everyone still wants to treat us as children, despite the fact that we are no longer kids. Yet, we haven’t quite reached adulthood either. Perhaps parents should understand this delicate balance, rather than viewing us solely as stubborn or hard-headed.
The truth is, we do love our parents dearly, but sometimes it’s challenging for us to discern how best to demonstrate our affection and support. We are grappling with numerous changes happening in our lives, and as we mature, we start to realize that our parents are not the invincible superheroes we once believed them to be. This doesn’t diminish our love for them, but it does lessen our reliance on them to rescue us from every situation. They make it even harder for us when they think we hate being “good sons & daughters” they want us to be.
As teenagers, what we truly need is respect. We want adults to consider our ideas, listen to us with genuine intent to understand, and provide guidance when necessary, rather than dismissing our thoughts simply because we’re teens. It’s quite amusing how adults sometimes accuse us of not listening when they themselves fail to truly listen to us.
This is the end. If you would like to to read more about this topic, then CLICK HERE to read my full article to the youngsters.
If you would like to follow me on the social media platforms; Click here to follow me on Twitter, Click here to follow me on Instagram, Click here to follow me on Facebook.
